Breathe on my soul God. I hate being here. So void inside. Can’t feel. Running rampantly through life is never a good thing. At first it starts where you barely know that you are doing it. Next thing you know you are on a trampoline running at 100 miles per hour through your own life. You are running so hard and so fast that you cannot feel or hear your thoughts. Everything becomes chaotic. I am patiently waiting for God to breathe on my soul to restore peace so that I can walk in what he has for me to do. Writing this is the first step. I am just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other until I get out of this “mud”.
I have been in the wilderness for some time now. Void of feelings. Existing yet not living. I know exactly what is robbing me of life. It will subside very soon. But presently I am buried beneath all the debris. The fact that I see the tide turning in the very near future is very hopeful. Thanks God for the reset that is soon to come.
Life will not always present itself in a package full of roses. Life is what you make it. Your thoughts hold the key to how your journey will feel. It will not change your journey, but thoughts play a vital part in how you choose to travel. You can travel life’s journey with a pessimistic viewpoint or an optimistic one. Take charge of your journey by choosing positivity.
Satan will always be on his job by throwing his darts your way. You have the power of the Holy Spirit inside you that will help you endure trials in an optimistic way. Philippians 4:8 says : “Finally, brethren, whatsover things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things..”
Capture negative thoughts and throw them back to Satan. Choose positivity today.
Life gets in the way so strong sometimes that it can cloud your view. It can consume you so much on the negative side that it slows down your momentum on your Christian journey. Even worst, it can crumble you to pieces.
There you lay bruised and broken by the ugly tribulations of life.You want it to stop and go away. You don’t want to feel anything. You live your life holding your breath. You’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. The darkness is so deep that you can’t see the forest for the trees.
No one wants to feel bad and go through tough times. What is really difficult is when you are running to and for God and you’re met with crippling disappointments. God has words to help shift our perspective in the right way.
James 1:2-4 says “Count it all joy,my brothers,when you meet trials of various kinds,for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect,that you may be perfect and complete,lacking in nothing.”
James 1:12 says “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial,for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life,which God has promised to those who love him.”
In our human experience it’s very tough to remain steadfast while going through. How can you remain steadfast when the cards are stacked against you? Sometimes you have to forcibly push yourself to run to the Father. Sometimes you’re so bitter and angry from being battered by the storms of life that you can’t even pray. So how do you get past that? You have to push through it by forcing the word in your space. You may not feel better instantly, but by pushing through with the word it is a balm to your battered soul. You move along when you don’t feel like moving. Before long you’ll be back running your marathon. You’ll come out stronger. You’ll finish strong.
On the other side of it all you will be appreciative of the lessons learned. Psalms 119:71 says “It is good for me that I was afflicted,that I may learn your statutes. When you can grow to that point after all the trials, that is how you finish strong.
I love how God can use different things in our lives to teach us lessons. Those lessons brings us back to the understanding of the fullness of who he is and what he is capable of. For the past three weeks, I have been anxious within my soul in the midst of a physical storm. Of course I had no reason to be; knowing who my Father is. But the human part of me took hold and try as I might I could not shake my anxiety. Though it would subside from time to time, it would reappear.
Through it all, the Lord’s been faithful. He kept me and my family safe from hurt, harm, and danger. I truly thank him for that. Perhaps the most important message I received that I can take from it all is that God’s Got This. It is because he’s got this that I can rest in that and focus solely on him. As I encounter an upcoming obstacle I thank you God for that reminder.
“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6, 7
God knows how to get our attention. He also knows how to bring us back to him. I’m personally in the midst of a “potential” fearful place in my life. I have purposely placed quotation marks around the word potential because it is exactly that “potential”. It does have the potential to bring me to a fearful place in my life as I go through this ordeal. However, it would only happen if I choose not to keep my eyes on the Lord.
However, I choose to have confidence in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He’s the ultimate source of peace. His word reminds me in II Timothy 1:7 (For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.) It is already well.
Lateley, I have noticed that I have been complaining a lot. Even about little things (i.e. things like the weather not being ideal or having an obligation that I don’t feel like fulfilling at the time ). There’s always something that will irritate me a little, then from that one irritation, it blows over into something big. I have even become irritated with myself for complaining so much (and rightfully so.) I had to step back when I started to vent once again about a latest mishap that stumbled my way. My husband came from a place of love when he told me complaining does not solve anything it only makes the matter worst. So simple, yet so true. I thank God for using my husband to shed light on the issue and for softening my heart enough to receive what he had to say.
In my quest to return to peace and love, it was what I needed to hear. I wanted to dig even deeper so I searched the word of God to see what he had to say on the matter. Many scriptures addresses the issue. But one scripture that really stood out to me was Phillippians 2:14-15. It says “Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world”. I want to be a light. I don’t want God to say depart from me I know you not. I do not want to continue to dwell in darkness. Complaining is a sin yes, but it is also a gateway to other things that will create harm and discord in my life.
Complaining and murmuring can be easy to justify. I’ve said things like “I just have to vent, or “I have to get this off my chest before I explode”, or “it’s better out than in.” But the truth is complaining only blocks me from being all that God would have me be. I ask God for forgiveness. I am asking that he remove the spirit of complaining and restore the spirit of gratitude. I do have a lot to be thankful for. I have Jesus in my life. I have my health and strength. I have a great family. So the next time the complaining spirit tries to rise up, I have some “fresh” spiritual insight to draw on. I just had to be reminded.