When I first decided to live for Christ, the spiritual high I felt was nothing short of sheer ecstasy. I was so enthusiastic about living and working for the Lord. Things were going pretty well. As usual, there were a few trials that came along the way.
I sought the only solution I knew, which was Jesus. He worked it out. I said thank you and life moved on. Wow! I thought what a wonderful formula. Then the trials started coming more frequently and more heavily. They also stayed a lot longer. The assurance and confidence I felt inside slipped away from me. I fought to hold on through “surface”faith and will power.
The fire I had within was suddenly extinguished. I could no longer feel the warmth that flooded my soul. It was replaced by a cold and numb feeling. I knew where to turn to make this feeling go away. But I was so empty and listless that I could not pray. I could not talk to HIM or read the Word. I simply could not move beyond the despair.
Even while sitting in church services, I felt empty. I saw the spirit moving and wished I could grab hold to just a little. But it passed right over me. So I did the only thing I knew to do. I asked God to come back to me. I asked him to help me. I wanted to feel him again. I leaned on him while I felt empty. Revelations came strong as he started speaking to me.
He told me that he never left me. I just took my focus away from him and onto my circumstances. I allowed life to block my view of him. He also planted in my spirit the scripture where Peter momentarily walked on the water (Matthew 14:28-31). When he focused on Jesus he walked on the water. When he saw the boisterous winds he was afraid and began to sink.
Another revelation was given to me while sitting in a church service. While sitting through a sermon that was drowned by the emptiness I felt inside, the preacher said something that hit me like a freight train.
He stated “God is not always in the sensational, but he is in the still small voice”. I knew then that God was calling me to another level of maturity on this Christian journey. Growth is usually not a walk in the park. There is a lot of twisting, stretching and pulling. But it is a necessary component to bring me to the purpose that God has for my life. I have not arrived, I am ever becoming.
I have to remain plugged into the power source that is Jesus. He tells us in his word that he wants us to abide in him (Matthew 15: 4-10). Whenever I remember the feeling of emptiness, I see the importance of abiding in him. It will overcome emptiness every single time.